Complaints: Sainsbury’s & Short-Dated Chicken

A complaint from last year, in May, after my Supermarket Slut project and part of my ongoing relationship troubles with Sainsbury’s Online.

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Hi Sainsburys

Do you remember me?

We used to be close.  Really close.  We used to date each other every weekend.

But then you kept sending me short-dated chicken…and I can only stand being cheated on so often, so I decided to play the field – as they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Well, there are 6 supermarkets in UK sea – Asda, Techno, Morrisons, Sainsburys, Waitrose and Ocado.  There may allegedly be others but I do have standards.

I decided to rate them, similar to the website ratemypoo.com (do you remember that?) but for online deliveries.

You actually came top with 81 points.  I have attached a spreadsheet outlining my findings.  We might still have a future together.

However, Ocado have a much larger range of fish.  And have given me a free delivery voucher.

So for now, it’ll just be occasional flirting between us.

I hope you are ok with that.  I do still care about you.

Love.
James

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Dear James

Thanks for getting in touch with us. How could I forget you? We always had fun at the weekends during our dating time, you left a good impression when you entered yourself into the sexy torso competition, which I hope you won.

I haven’t seen you in a few months, so you’ve kept me wondering, now I understand you were testing the waters with my competitors. I’ll not classify this as you cheating just yet if it’s only been the odd occasion, although, I am pretty upset. I can see they haven’t scored as highly as me on your attached spreadsheet, which I’m secretly very pleased about.

I’m sorry my colleague’s instore have sent you short life chicken and you feel cheated, I understand how disappointed you must feel, I’d feel the same if I was in your shoes, I’m also a lover of chicken. I’ve been assured by the manager of the store that he’ll speak to my colleagues to ensure we don’t cheat you again by sending you short life produce. Then, perhaps we can get back on track and forget about the other supermarkets you’ve been playing the field with? As I said, this is very upsetting for me, I thought we had strong connection and our relationship was going well considering we’ve dated over 100 times.

Thanks for pointing out that my competitor Ocado do a much larger range of fish. I’m now working hard with suppliers to up my dating game and ensure we provide a much larger range of fish instore and online.

There are plenty more fish in the sea, but, I believe that you’re the fish for me. As we’ve found each other again, hopefully this will help us to get back on track with dating every weekend in the future.

I’ve sent you a £10 voucher as a gesture of goodwill for the fact we cheated you by sending short life chicken. The voucher code xxxx-xxxx-xxxx can be used when you’re ready to accept my offer of a date. Please enter the code when checking out your groceries.

I’m happy with flirting for now. As you said, you do still care about me, so, I’m confident that once I prove I can be faithful to you, we can get our dating relationship back on track and it can go back to just being us that date in future which I’m very excited about.

Thanks again for contacting Sainsbury’s and I hope that we can have a date really soon.

Kind regards,