Today is payday.

Some people will treat themselves to the finest steak they can locate.  Others will upgrade frm 613 Oxford Road to a more refined Ascot hooker.  Others will eschew their usual 5% pure Colombian for their dealer’s special £100 Bolivian (the only reason I know about this is because I read an article in the Economist).

I know how to live, and am always looking to take the minimal techno’n’roll lifestyle to the next level so I decided to pop by Morrisons in Bracknell so I could stock up on chicken Goldenfry Gravy.

Do you see any Goldenfry?  No.  Do you see anywhere to put any Goldenfry?  No.

This is a disaster.  FML.

If you are my true friend or simply just in love with me then you will help me get over this tragedy.

What the hell am I going to do?  Apart from complain, obviously.