Tagged: Women

So I decided that at 10:45pm on the day before a job interview that I would go to Tesco just before it shut, not for alcohol, but for chocolate.  I have a chocolate craving.  How odd.  This keeps happening to me at the moment late at night – is this normal? Anyway, standing in the queue, minding my own business, two drunk and fairly attractive young ladies in front of me (the sort that would be far more attractive if they weren’t so obsessed with fake tan, fake hair, way overdone make-up, you know the sort), one turns around and …

According to scientists, women can be anaethetised from painful symptoms by looking at a photo of their loved one. So, seeing as women seem to cause all the painful moments in my life, and for some bizarre illogical way that makes no sense to me I still love women (I admit to all my female readers you are a source of delight too), I thought I should do something positive, given the above scientific advice, to try to ensure that I receive more delight than pain in the future. So, here goes: I trust that this will be enough, though the article …

Women – those that are beautiful, single and still desire to be married a Winfield, please find your competition displayed below. Good luck. Hmmmmmmmmmm.

And welcome to Monday. Great, isn’t it? And to cheer me up, I have discovered evidence that being single is going to cost me £250,000.00 more over my lifetime than it would have done if I were as part of a couple. This is due to the expenses of housing, bills and holidays all being more for a single person than for one person living as part of a couple. Damn it, I thought I was being pretty economically efficient. There I was thinking that I was saving loads of money on subsidising a woman’s shopping habits, not having the …